genet (enveri) wrote,

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Stolen from catdragon, who stole from tygercowboy...

I can think of a few people that probably need to see this. I don't think they'll listen, but.. at least I tried. Bolds are mine.

Checklist 1: Is Your Relationship Abusive?
1. S/He has angry outbursts with no warning or provocation.
2. S/He calls you names or constantly criticizes your appearance or behavior.
3. S/He puts down your friends and makes it hard for you to see them.
4. S/His outbursts take place when no one else is around.
5. S/He tells you what to feel, what to think, whom you're supposed to be.
6. S/He has very rigid beliefs about men's and women's roles in relationships and society, and is unwilling to hear your opinion.
7. S/He makes all the decisions about your relationship: where to go, who to see, how to spend money.
8. S/He consistently breaks agreements that you've made.
9. When you express feelings of hurt or frustration, s/he denies the behavior that caused them, refuses to discuss your feelings, says you caused the behavior, or accuses you of attacking him.
10. You fear his/her reaction when you do something contrary to his/her wishes; his/her moods are so unpredictable.

Checklist 2: Signs That Verbal Abuse May Turn Physical
1. S/He has been in a violent relationship before or has a history of violent encounters with others.
2. S/He blocks your exit - or threatens you in other ways - during arguments.
3. S/He pulls things out of your hands or asserts physical dominance in other ways (such as insisting on having sex when you don't want to).
4. S/He starts to go public: The criticism and name-calling happens in front of other people.
5. S/He is violent during arguments; s/he punches holes in walls, smashes things on the floor and/or destroys property.

Checklist 3: Signs That a Friend May Be in an Abusive Relationship
1. The obvious sign: S/he has unexplained bruises, cuts or other injuries.
2. S/he has casually mentioned violent behavior but laughs it off as a joke.
3. S/he stops seeing friends and family.
4. S/he is unusually quiet or seems fearful when s/he is around.
5. S/he uncharacteristically cancels plans at the last minute.
6. S/He puts him/her down in front of other people and behaves in controlling ways.

If several of the above items apply to you or a loved one, seek professional help.

I hope that this will be taken to heart.

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