genet (enveri) wrote,
genet
enveri

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Over the past couple of years, I've tried really hard to do the right things in my life. I've paid on bills, I've tried to make up for past mistakes, I've stuck with jobs I hated.



I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried to make this job work... and... something has got to give. I'm fighting depression on a daily basis, I feel like my managers don't care, and I'm plagued by childish theivery and pranks.

Every weekend, I just want to curl up with Roho in the bedroom and hide, because I know Monday is coming. I am tired all the time, cranky with friends and oversensitive to comments and remarks. I cry at the drop of a hat. A look at Monster and CareerBuilder (via the Chicago Tribune) tell me that quitting is not an option, since there is literally nothing out there.

Since June of 2002, I've worked in an increasingly hostile and abusive work environment. My pleas for help have been ignored by management as they shoved more work onto my desk. My coworker Val, who gets the 'Laziest Bitch of the Year' award, still holds her job, despite the numerous complaints from all my coworkers. Chuck even yelled at her in the office on Monday. (And was later pulled into the Boss's office for an hour or two)

Every time I take a vacation, I feel better for a couple of days, then everything is back to the way it was before; the stress, the despair, the tears.

I just.. I don't know how to cope with this. I can't go on, day after day, sniffling through the phone calls, popping tylenol for the migraines, trying to sleep through my mornings because sleep is better than dreading the hour I have to leave for work.

I know that no matter where I apply for a job right now, I'm not going to get hired. That's realistic, not pessimism. Leaving this job for another isn't an option right now.

If anyone has any advice... I really need to hear it.
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