For the past several days, I've been unable to cope with just about anything. I've been prone to burst into tears over nothing, stress out over simple things.. and in general, just fall to pieces. I've been exhausted for the past two weeks, no matter how much sleep I get. I've had one or two days of normalcy.. yesterday, and a couple of days over the Labor Day weekend.
I don't know what's wrong with me... I can assume it's that we're starting week 3 of the "monthlies", the impending move, the stress of having to do a delicate dance at work... And my mother's continual nagging about one thing or another. I hate having these off periods.. even more than I would normally... mostly because Bren's mood feeds off of mine. When I'm depressed, he's quiet and withdrawn, which makes me feel even worse. It's a vicious self perpetuating circle.
I really really need to see a doctor about this. I don't think it's the depo shots- I suffered from depression for years... but was always able to pull myself out of it fairly easily. The lethargy may be due to thyroid problems, I have no idea. I have a doctor's appointment on October 14th, but I don't think I'm going to make it that long.
We have done a bit of packing, but I'm starting to get the sinking feeling that we don't have enough boxes for all the stuff we have. The bookshelf has been packed away, but there's a bunch of candles and myriad other items that must be stored somehow. I'm not sure how we're going to pack all the pots, pans, and dishes.. amazing how much stuff can be squeezed into this tiny little apartment.
So yes, stressed about the move.
Work... hasn't changed. Evidently, EV is on a 45 second delay timer (this is knocked down from a 90 second delay) that keeps him from having to take calls in the morning. The way our call center works is we have 5 people in the morning. 1 does the new calls coming in, 1 does the pages, and at any given time, there's usually someone on lunch. This leaves two people that have nothing to do but answer phones. Generally, you can handle the phone and the news. It's not difficult. But VC never ever answers the phone. She feels that she's above that, or something. Fine. However, with EV on the delay, that leaves one person answering a constant stream of calls. We may get 40 calls in a 2 hour period, but unless they're in the queue for more than 45 seconds, EV's phone doesn't ring. And with my call turnaround... well.. this doesn't happen. This... is unacceptable. My complaints got his delay knocked from 90 to 45... but.. I'm still answering 90% of the phone calls. I don't know really how to bring this up with my supervisors... they ask how things are going, and I can't just blurt out problems in front of the people I'm complaining about. ::sighs:: Rob is doing what he can, but.. he's a bit overwhelmed at being shoved into the position they've got him in.
Blehg. I did send out an application for a management trainee position with another company. Yes, mine might be grooming me for management, but ARC is hemmoraging, and I want to be sure to keep options open.
I'm sure I'd be a lot happier with the world in general if my emotional state was more..balanced.
So we'll see what happens.