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I've mentioned before that Roho's ex girlfriend had been causing a few problems in our lives, and how she just can't seem to let go and move on with her own life.

Recently, it seems that she discovered our livejournals, and began posting both in my journal and that of a friend.

The entries are here and here (that we know of).

Well, this is my response to her. I hope you're pleased with yourself, Erin. You've made me angry.

Just recently you posted a few comments in my journal. To say that I was surprised would be an understatement, but they seemed innocuous enough, so I figured I’d take the time to formulate a nice reply.

Then I talked to Feren, and spoke a bit with Roho. Hmm. Something seems a little fishy here.

So tell me, do you honestly believe that you loved Brendan, or are you simply causing trouble because he hurt your pride?

So let’s talk about your relationship. You dated Brendan for 3 years, am I right? And he broke it off in October of 2001. What you might not want to admit to yourself is that he was miserable for the last year of the relationship. From everything I know of Bren, and I know him quite well, he tried everything he could to make you happy and to make the relationship work. However, he wouldn’t support you and let you be a leech. Brendan is one that helps the ones that help themselves, and you weren’t willing to take that step, admit that responsibility over your own life. No, you wanted him to do everything for you and present life wrapped up in a neat little package with no work on your own part. Let me tell you something. In the real world, life doesn’t work like that. A relationship is a partnership, not all give, not all take. There has to be balance, or both partners are unhappy. Sound familiar?

So after a year of trying to make a relationship that wasn’t working, work, Brendan gave up and ended it. I can understand to an extent the way you acted right after the breakup. I can understand, but I can’t forgive. I listened to a man cry because of the hateful things the woman he once loved said to him. I had to listen… and I had to try and help him, because it broke my heart to see how much grief and pain he was in. I understood how she would be hurting… I understood how much hurt –I- would be in if it were me. But I couldn’t understand why she chose the words she did- words deliberately calculated to cause pain, malicious and hurtful. Not the words of a woman that loved; the words of a woman out for revenge.

You asked me how long Bren and I had been dating, because you had a bet with someone that he was cheating on you. You disgust me. If you knew Brendan at all; and evidently in 3 years, you didn’t, you’d know that he’d never be unfaithful.

But no, you have to go to his friends and try and pry information out of them about his relationships and doings; not in hopes that he’s happy, in fact by your own words, you hope I dump him and leave him miserable, but so you can cause him more pain.

Erin, get a life. Out of respect for Brendan’s wishes, because he genuinely wanted to be friends with you, I have stayed in the background. He was afraid that you would be suicidal if you found out he was dating anyone, so I kept quiet. The man has done everything he possibly could to make the break up easier on you. And how do you repay him?

Let’s see. You corner him at a convention, and proceed to flay him with words until a friend had to come to his rescue. You call him at all hours of the day and night, repeatedly, mostly never leaving messages, and when you do, leaving either hysterical crying, or ramblings about sending nude photos in to porn magazines. (Yes, I was there when he listened to that message. ) You send him horrendously hateful emails, and now you are stalking him through livejournal.

I am tired of having to clean up the mess you leave him in when you call. I am sick of watching him be in pain because of pity and compassion for you, and then watch you walk all over him like he's a rug. Throw you out like yesterday's trash indeed! Madam, you have labeled yourself correctly. The unfortunate thing is, it took Brendan three years to realize it.

So. You have made your choice. You had him, you fucked up, you lost him. He’s mine now. Back off, stay away, and leave us and our friends alone. If you continue harassing Brendan or myself online or through phone calls, I will seek retribution through the law. So unless you fancy getting your ISP shut off for harassment and having a restraining order slapped onto you, back off.

It did sound like you had some other healthy interests in your life, such as your bible class. Perhaps if you threw the same energy into that that you’ve thrown into hurting and hating Brendan, you would be a lot happier.

This is your only warning.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 15th, 2002 10:03 pm (UTC)
The girl needs therapy!
As someone who has known Erin (just as an aquanitance) for years, I can't say that I'm totally surprised by this recent behaviour of hers, although the extremity of it is a bit shocking. Her maturity level has always lagged behind her actual age, and this taking out her disappointment/fustration on others business is definitely immature. She has so much to learn about handling her emotions. I hope she finds help, if she hasn't already. She's made the healing process longer and more difficult by opening old wounds.

Good for you for standing up for yourself and for Roho, and making your boundaries very clear. Sounds like you and he have given her enough chances to stay friends, but she has not used them wisely. At this point, she should no longer be given the opportunity to interfere with the bliss you and Roho have.

Peace be with you,
Wendy, the bunny in the Milwaukee group
May. 15th, 2002 10:38 pm (UTC)
Please hear me out... Long post but with valid points
I am Lei. I know you know very little about me since we run in different circles. I lost my first love Ken-Ohki like Akako did over two years ago, and frankly it the wound will never completely heal. However, since then I have learned to love again to a wonderful man and caring father to our beloved 7-month-old son. My first love and I will always love one another but in the end we realized the hardest reality of our love was that neither would give completely and totally to the realtionship because we were afraid of so many things. Yet, through it all we have found peace knowing that our hearts can still love, and though it won't ever be the same to love again for either of us. Love isn't the same, it is always changing. Akako will always love Roho; they were mates. Yet, love is everchanging and they didn't change with it.

Akako is facing the hardest challenge, learning how to love again. It isn't easy losing your first everything, but eventually you do learn to move past it. She has a strength and kindness which is incredible and I love her for it. She is my sister not by blood but by love, and I will always look out for her. Now, I am here to help move on with her life and give her the support she needs to reach the goals she has in life. I kindly ask that you and Roho read her final email to him together especially if it illicts such strong emotions, as well as her final comments to you. She has no ill will towards either of you and wishes you both the best of luck in all your endeavors as do I. I will come by at a later date at a time most convenient for both of you to pick up her items that Akako left with Roho for safe keeping along with the engagement ring she gave him. That is of course if he is unable to ship them. Please contact me if Roho has any items that he left at Akako's, and please refrain from flaming my email account. We all need to act responsibly to quickly resolve this issue that has been lingering for far too long for any of our healths.

Good wishes and happy tails,

Sakura Lei Kitsune
May. 15th, 2002 10:41 pm (UTC)
Re: Please hear me out... Long post but with valid points
Nearly forgot my email... You and Roho may reach me at cherry_lei@hotmail.com
May. 16th, 2002 09:55 am (UTC)
Sick puppy
You go girl. From the posts I saw that were hers (or, at least, attributed to her), this woman needs a vet. :( I just hope she finds closure, then finds happiness -- in ANOTHER direction than yours.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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