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It is time.

They say all good things come to an end, and I've known for the last 17 years that our partnership would not be forever.

Cailet has cancer.  It's an extremely aggressive tumor located behind her left eye, and while she is still somewhat perky, she's started 'yelling' at us, which we think is an indication of pain.  She saw the kitty oncologist on Wednesday, and the prognosis is not good.  Our choices were radiation therapy (which might give us a few more months) and surgical removal, which would be very invasive and (I think) might result in the loss of vision in that eye.  We made the decision Weds evening to try and keep her comfortable and see if she might stay with us through December.

Since then... she's become more yelly, she hates her pain medication treatments, she hates the subcutaneous fluid treatments, she can't eat, so we have to force feed her, and... we had the discussion this morning that we're going to call the vet and make the appointment on Monday.

Cailet has been my constant companion since she was 6 weeks old.  She has moved 9 times with me, four of those interstate moves.  She saw me through a divorce, and through countless bouts of depression.  Whenever I needed it, she was there for a cranky cuddle.  I have told Brendan that I don't want to be there when they give her the shot, but the odds are good that I'll change my mind, and see my girl into that good night.

When we lost Brianna, she left a hole that was too big to consider feeling.  Losing Cailet is going to leave a crater in my heart that I just... can't function with.  We will be looking for another fuzzy companion soon, to help Marcus cope, and to help me grieve.

Edit:  We take her in at 10:30 tomorrow morning.


Nov. 29th, 2013 08:13 pm (UTC)
There is nothing I can say that will make this all better or not real. I have no palliative that can be applied. I can only reassure you that Cailet has led a wonderful life and that you've been an exemplary guardian to her.

The hardest part of sharing our love with these fuzzballs is that they can never live long enough. The longer the time with us, the more attached we are to them and the harder it is to let go.
Nov. 29th, 2013 09:54 pm (UTC)
I woke up from a nap to find Bren and Haldis waiting for me. The tumor has penetrated her eye.

We're calling tonight to try and take her in tomorrow.

There are no words for my grief.
Nov. 29th, 2013 10:23 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, feren and I are so very, very sorry to hear this terrible news. About all I can say is love on your girl as much she'll allow for tonight to let her know you love her so...

May she be in peace and love as much as possible in the coming hours...and you all as well!!

(((((more fiercely comforting hugs)))))

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