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Is it Friday, yet?

Today's been... one of those days our mothers warned us about. I had the emotional high of being the delighted recipient of spousal love and creativity, then I went to class and... I'm not really quite sure what happened.

I've been... sensitive? I guess is the best way to put it, over the last few weeks. I horrified myself by crying in my VB Programming class last night (although I do assert that Visual Basic 6 would make anyone cry), and I came uncomfortably close to tears again today in my Bio Lab. (Worst. Labpartner. Ever.) I'm a bit concerned about all the boo-hooing and associated feelings of exhaustion and fragility that accompanies it.

Is this just... overload from my heavy class load this semester, or something more annoying and difficult to diagnose and/or deal with? I don't know. I also don't really know my purpose in posting this, unless it's solely to organize my thoughts and to give a generalized, "Hey, not feeling myself, if I burst out crying at you... it's nothing you said, really." heads up to my friends and family.

I decided I wanted to give up smoking for a few months. Please... don't harangue me about how it's a damaging and awful habit. I know, I'm aware. My allergies are getting bad again, and I've had a few asthma attacks this year already and I figured I'd give my lungs a hand for a change.

I didn't intend to sit down and write a depressing entry, sorry folks. I'll be my usual chirpy self again soon. I just have two more days of school to get through for the week.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
enveri
Mar. 4th, 2010 04:23 am (UTC)
I quit smoking in.. *thinks* Spring of 2002 when I moved here.. I was a much heavier smoker then (I think I went through a pack every... 4-5 days. Now it takes me about 2 weeks, unless there's a social activity).

So it could be. If it's related, I'd say it's more emotional than physical; since I often go a week without one with no problem. Of course, deciding I'm 'Giving Something Up' might very well have made my annoying little lizard hindbrain throw a temper tantrum. ;)
allykat
Mar. 4th, 2010 04:21 am (UTC)
It happens to the best of us. I spent most of the day boo-hooing or on the edge of doing so. For me, I chalked it up to having not slept very well. I am crazy emotional when I am sleep deprived (a near constant state here it is 11 and I'm STILL working on tomorrow's reading.)

The smoking thing is rough too... I gave it up about four years ago now and it was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done. Sometimes you just feel like they're you're only buddy. Like the poster above me said, don't be surprised if that leads to even more sudden sad attacks.

Most importantly- don't judge yourself for having sad attacks! I used to freak out a lot about random crying because it increased when I went back to school and my stress levels rose. Now I just kid of regard it as the ebb and flow of life.
enveri
Mar. 4th, 2010 04:26 am (UTC)
Accepting the emotional roller coaster is the hardest part, I think. More because roho has to suffer through it with me. I've been sleeping better, I think... I definitely need to exercise more. And be more on the ball about what and how often I eat (we've discovered that if I eat a lot of high glycemic food, I turn into a blubbering ball of angst. So unpleasant.)

Soo... there's a lot of 'normal' things it could be. A lot of medical things it could be. I'm trying not to stress out about it too much and just let it pass. Easier said than done. :)
shockwave77598
Mar. 4th, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC)
What's so hard about VB6? Programming, like all creative exercises, is a matter of will. You have to make the paints and canvas do what you want them to do, right? Well, code and the computer are much the same thing. You have to will the tools into doing what you want them to do.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 4th, 2010 05:58 pm (UTC)
It may be more that my professor's teaching style and my learning style aren't meshing. Programming should be like math, subject to logical rules. But he is expecting me to find the logic problems in my code when I barely have any grasp of what the code actually means- we're copying from his examples without true understanding. When I express frustration, he says it's okay, it's my first programming language, yadda yadda.

Very annoying.
enveri
Mar. 4th, 2010 06:03 pm (UTC)
It um, helps if I log in on my phone... >.>

oopsie. :)
(Deleted comment)
enveri
Mar. 4th, 2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
He's a nice enough prof, and he's a geek's geek, if that makes sense? He's one of those people that has trouble talking to non geeks. I inadvertantly already talked to the dept head about it without meaning to- she kinda put me on the spot. I daresay nothing will come of it, since it boils down to a matter of teaching style, not misconduct on the part of the prof. And to his credit, he's doing his best, we're just speaking 2 different languages.

And I think everyone is tuned into a monthly cycle whether they're aware of it or no- but I'll save that for when I can type on a real keyboard (although the iPhone keyboard is much nicer than I thought it would be :) )
enveri
Mar. 4th, 2010 06:57 pm (UTC)
He's a nice enough prof, and he's a geek's geek, if that makes sense? He's one of those people that has trouble talking to non geeks. I inadvertantly already talked to the dept head about it without meaning to- she kinda put me on the spot. I daresay nothing will come of it, since it boils down to a matter of teaching style, not misconduct on the part of the prof. And to his credit, he's doing his best, we're just speaking 2 different languages.

And I think everyone is tuned into a monthly cycle whether they're aware of it or no- but I'll save that for when I can type on a real keyboard (although the iPhone keyboard is much nicer than I thought it would be :) )
(Deleted comment)
enveri
Mar. 5th, 2010 12:54 am (UTC)
Well, most men don't notice it, I don't think. Obviously, just like women, some are more sensitive than others. Anyway, I have no biological basis for my thoughts on the subject, but it would make sense; we're mammals, we're biologically programmed just like every other mammal on the planet to cycle reproductively, male and female. :)
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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