genet (enveri) wrote,

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Today, I...

- Wrote in my journal (the extra special paper one that no one reads...not even me)
- Had a fairly serious discussion with someone special which helped us understand each other better (At least, I hope).
- Made someone laugh
- Provided a shoulder to someone that needed it badly

Last night we spent the evening vegging on the couch together, watching tv, playing the PS2 and tootling around online. We went and got KFC for dinner for the first time in a long time, which made me really happy. <3 KFC chicken strips. I got this really great recipe for fried chicken that I really really need to try sometime. MMm. :9

After dinner, something Feren said tripped my muse, which proceeded to flail me about the head and shoulders til I deflowered his sketchbooks. I hope he likes the results. :) I'm finding drawing to be more.. relaxed and natural lately. I don't like 90% of the sketches that come out, but... some of them have a lot more merit than what I was turning out before. Something Micah (otherwise known as haikujaguar) said to me a few weeks ago has come back to bob around the swirling eddies of my subconscious alot lately; I was grumping about my lack of motivation for working on my website, and how I didn't want to upload sketches or artwork until I had some sort of cohesive gallery set up. Her remark was to worry about content first, then display methods later. And you know..? She was, as usual, right. Thank you, arii.

Something was said to me earlier this week that.. kind of rattled me. I've heard alot of people telling themselves in the mirror : 'You are lovable, you are a good person' or whatever, and I've never really... thought it was a good thing. It always seemed like if you had to convince yourself of your goodness that you needed a lot more help than that. However.. I've become aware lately that my insecurities run a lot deeper than I ever thought. And when recounting a particularly painful memory from my childhood, the listener asked me- if I could say one thing to that little girl that struggled so hard, what would it be? So I ask you. Look back in your life to those moments when you felt alone, as if no one felt you were worth their time... and what would you say to yourself? Sometimes... that child hears, and knows... and some of that baggage you carry around somehow gets left behind.

Work's actually been a bit busy today. I've been going around threatening our contractors with nonpayment if they don't fulfill the Scope of Work we've provided within a certain time, which has them all scampering to get the work they should have done months ago completed. It's rather satisfying to get results, but also a bit frightening, since some of them are calling my bluff, and I'm going to have the nasty job of telling them that I was serious. Oh well.. I gave them a month's warning. I'll send out another notice next week as a final reminder, then start calling around to find someone else to do the work after the 1st of April. (Good Lord, April already?!)

I'll probably go ahead and do my taxes this weekend so I don't have to worry about it later, and possibly go ahead and write up the Rules and Regs for my department for MFF. I'd like to get a procedural manual together before the deadline too. Good thing my department is really really simple. I still haven't registered for Anthrocon, which is something else I should do soon. Oh- and for those that are going... I'm probably going to be incognito. I don't do well in crowds, and I really don't do well in large crowds of people I don't know. So unless I'm specifically seeking you out, or if you just happen to be with one of the people I'll be glued to, you likely won't see me much at con (if at all). The Boston crowd, this does not apply, since A) I'm staying with you, and B) I'll be under your feet, since I'm comfy with you guys. ;) That, and.. I dunno. I like being anonymous at conventions. I'll probably never have name recognition from people I don't know personally, and you know? I'm okay with that. I am really excited about the convention and the trip. July is just going to be a big month for us in general. Phew!

I really need to do housework tonight/this weekend. I've let it slide all week. I need to change out the bag in the vacuum cleaner, vacuum the floors, sweep, mop, clean the litterbox... Rrrg. The coffeetable needs to be tidied up again, as it seems to be the default repository for all our miscellaneous junk. We also need to take the recycling out to the depository. I need to check my finances and rework my budget to show the medical bills... Heh.. I'll probably get 1 or two of the things on this list done, and that's okay.

OH- And before I forget. Those people that have commissions with me. Let's face it folks, I don't know when I'm going to finish them. I've been plodding away, and pride keeps me from just throwing something together and calling it good. If you would like a refund, please let me know. You'll still get the art when I finally get around to finishing it.. I just feel horribly guilty having your money and taking forever to provide you with the finished product.

Mmm. That's all I can think of to write now. I think I shall go doodle the rest of my afternoon away.

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