genet (enveri) wrote,

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I was in the middle of updating my journal when my computer spontaneously rebooted itself.

I'm grumpy and tired of work. I need a vacation.

I did have a semi-serious relationship defining discussion with Roho, and.. wow. It really feels good to have a mate that is intelligent and cares enough about you to put your needs before his. Of course, it sometimes makes it difficult to do the same for him, because he's stubborn, but.. Damn. I am a very very lucky woman.

So, basically, my goal for Ultimate Happiness (tm) is to destress my life so that I can give more back to the wonderful man that gives me so much.
(Dental care will be provided at the end of the entry)

My monitor at work developed some strange form of epilepsy. First, it started jittering whenever I typed. Then it didn't matter if I held still and didn't breathe- the screen was doing the jitterbug all over. So.. a quick IT request, and 2 hours later, I had a new Dell flatscreen monitor. Whee! My computer system here at work is -almost- better than my system at home (which is saying something... I have pretty close to top of the line), and.. this is just too cool. I have... deskspace!!

I'm struggling a bit in other areas, however. Okay, struggling a lot. Stress at work has escalated to nigh unbearable levels, to the point where I can't really escape them. I've found working out to be nicely cathartic, but the moment I come home, something happens (Cailet swats at Marcus, the counter I just cleaned is now dirty, someone dropped a dirty sock in the clean laundry basket)... and all the stress drops back down on my shoulders with an almost audible thud. Little things that aren't even worth batting an eyelash at in the normal daily grind are getting under my skin, like sand in your shoes when you go to the beach. Everything is annoying the crap out of me (save for Bren, miraculously, and probably because he's trying to make life as easy on me as possible, and it'd be most ungracious for me to become cranky with him), and... I'm really ready for the end of the year already.

I've decided that if MFF stuff doesn't get done, then it doesn't get done. I'm no longer official staff, it's no longer my responsibility. (Thank God.) Anxiety about the con is starting to build- will I have enough money? How is so-and-so going to get back and forth to the airport? How will I be able to handle dealing with all those people? ... and right now, I just want it to be over. Conventions are all well and good, but.. unless Roho -really- wants to hit AC next year, I think this will be the last one I bother with. So if I'm antisocial this year, it's not you, mmkay?

I'm hoping that after all the constress and concrud and so forth has run its course (or after Roho pries me off the ceiling), I can relax a bit and.. I dunno.. actually SLEEP for a week or two before the anxiety about The Christmas Trip (otherwise known as 'How Long Til She Kills Her Parents') sets in.

And at some point in there, Feren will select his house, and we will have the fun of getting him moved in. So.. it's to be a full End-of-the-Year. Some friends are making noises about coming to visit in January-ish, when we have an actual guest room again and can put them up for 3-4 days. I am happy about this. I've known them for nearly 4 years, and I consider Regan to be my closest friend... and we've never met in person. So that's exciting!

And now I am going to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks as the mid-afternoon desire for nappage sets in. I have a training session in an hour which should take up the remaining hour of my workday, which is good.


(Oh... and as a post script.. since I now have 50 user pictures I have to fill, I will be sorting through pictures folks have done of Kes to make icons out of. The artists will be receiving emails requesting permission. If you want to draw something of Kes, just out of the goodness of your heart, I'd love to see it!)

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